Tag Archive: Victims


North America was at one time the unknown, the wild and forbidden continent that Europeans would risk life and limb to reach and eventually conquer and enslave.  Slowly, the new continent came to life; well, it was already alive with life, but through the prejudice of “civilized” Europeans, the continent only began its history once the boot of the old world was firmly planted on the neck of the new.

To be sure, there was violence among the peoples of the new world, but it is unlikely that it resembled the crime and justice evidenced in the streets of London and Paris.  Our current preoccupation with violence is something that we can go back many years and find afficiandos in the dark ages.  The printing press brought the gift of the written word to people who had to rely on rather skilled orators with long, long memories of rather bland  ballads, putrid  poems, and odious odes.  Prior to Johannes Gensfleisch zur Laden zum Gutenberg and his marvelous movable mechanical print ushering in the age of the printed word, there was a dearth of avenues for the human mind to seek distraction.  No wonder the extracurricular activities our ancestors pursued are hideous when examined in the cold light of enlightened day.

That said, we are bloodthirsty by nature and our proclivity to seek voyeuristic venues to satiate our desires has meant that it would not take long for someone to realize that we would love to read about executions, murders, thefts, robberies and so on.  Along came the tabloids of the day — the broadsides.

As Newgate was London’s busiest processing point for those who had transgressed the law of the era, we still have copies of broadsides (or broadsheets) that allow many to feel intense feelings of sympathy and outrage for the persecuted criminals. In fact, it is shocking to the more modern liberal sensitivities to realize the sheer number of people executed under the “Bloody Code” where theft of a loaf of bread meant death — regardless of sex or age.

In the harsh climate of the day, it seemed that the violence perpetuated against innocent citizens also had a rather shocking component.  And while there were occasionally depraved individuals littering Europe’s criminal history, the truly debauched killers of history were usually aristocracy, for who among the peasantry could afford to kill on a large scale and escape punishment for long?  And so we see the likes of Giles de Rais and Countess Elizabeth Bathory, each murdering hundreds of males and females for what is generally thought to be a twentieth century reason — sexual satisfaction through bloodshed and murder.  It isn’t that there weren’t violent psychopaths roaming in the lower classes; it is simply that they were likely apprehended and terminated quicker as the ruling classes did not suffer such actions from the serfs.

Since the new world was controlled at a distance by the power brokers of Europe, it should not be surprising that the truly demented killers of the new world would be of the “common” class.  The debate is only curious for the fact that there is a disagreement as to who among our blood drenched ancestors should be crowned as the “first” serial killer(s).  Modern writers have focused on Belle Gunness, H.H. Holmes, the Benders – a Kansas family of murderers, and several others, but the two men who definitely fit the bill for the title of America’s first serial killers are often overlooked or disqualified for some unfathomable reason.

Perhaps it is due to the fact that the research has been clouded by varying accounts.  There are conflicting records on even the familial relationship that existed between the two men.

However, these historical discrepancies agree on the important points:  the two men murdered many people without discretion, without discrimination and with great ferocity.  They enjoyed killing their fellow humans.  Age, gender and relationship mattered not one whit to them.  And so it is based on their psychological nature that I believe they are the first serial killers we can identify in our history of murderous mayhem belongs to the Harpe men.

Many accounts have the two men as cousins while still others list them as brothers.  The facts agree that Big Harpe was older than Little Harpe.  It is conceivable that the men were cousins as their fathers would have been brothers and living close to one another.  The nicknames were not based on age; Big Harpe was a huge man and must have engendered fear merely at his presence.  How unfortunate that his inner nature was dark and depraved.  This was no gentle giant. Like modern day killer Edmund Kemper, still living out his days in California’s penal system, the giant truly is a murdering monster.

Or maybe the reluctance to recognize the men is due to the fact that they acted in tandem. If that is the reason, then there should at least be an acknowledgement that they are the first team serial killers to grace our new world shores. Sort of an early version of California killer cousins Kenneth Bianchi and Angelo Buono, the Hillside Stranglers. Of course, America also suffered from killer cousins on its east coast as well, though cousins David Gore and Fred Waterfield are less well known for their Florida murders as a tag team of death.

Whether the men were in fact cousins or brothers, it is irrelevant to the history they have left behind. There was obviously a familial streak of violence that cannot be denied.  It remains a rather disconcerting fact that they had wives and had off-spring.  Their descendants walk among us today.

And so it goes — the battle to see which stain among our patchwork quilt of crime will win the coveted honour of being considered number one, the first among evils to be selected as our premiere excursion into darkness.

So, you see, when canvassing the depths of depravity, there is a scuffle, a fight if you will, to be considered the first among many.

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Despite the fact that most people think that a psychopath and a narcissist are one and the same, there is actually a difference betwixt the two.

Perhaps it is a little like splitting hairs, but I am a firm believer that the two are different.

I imagine that you are already familiar with one or both of these reflections of man’s mutating mind.  Who in your life fits the criteria for these aberrant types?   We will have to forgo the $250 an hour uptight and costly analysis.  🙂

In a classic showdown, who do you think would win:  the psychopath or the narcissist?

Let’s examine the narcissist first.

The diagnostic criteria from the psychology/psychiatry bible, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, also known as the DSM-IV, states that someone who qualifies as suffering from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder has at least five of the following traits:

— enormous sense of entitlement

— need for admiration, praise, attention

— lacks empathy

— arrogant and obtuse

— jealous of others and believes others are jealous of them

— uses others as disposable objects

— lives in an unreal fantasy world

To these items, I would add: lies as a matter of course, perverts events in memory to fit image of self, argues in defiance of evidence, and secular and insular to a maddening degree.

Now think carefully.  Are you the unlucky victim of a narcissist?  Does someone in your life fit the criteria?

To see a narcissist in action is to marvel at the illness so pathological that the “medical experts” can only give you the following advice:

LEAVE!!

That’s right.  The 21st century mind doctors can only offer victims the advice of run, hide, cut the narcissist out of your life.  If you are involved with a narcissist, then the only option you have is to escape their presence, cut them off and pray they think that it was always their idea.

Fascinating, isn’t it?

Well, not really, because what the hell are you supposed to do if the narcissist in your life is a sibling?  Worse case — what if the narcissist is a parent?

Speaking as one who has literally been surrounded by narcissists, I discovered rather late in life that I have survived only due to my own personality disorder.  Regular people are collateral damage to the narcissists I have observed.  I am developing an understanding for these victims; not empathy, but an understanding, which is almost as good given the fact that I am not quite capable of empathy.

Lord knows I understand the concepts involved, but no, I really cannot empathize.  It has been frustrating to see the victims being eaten alive by these self-involved parasites, but I now understand the “why” behind their lemming-like devotion to the narcissist victimizing them.

Life without empathy isn’t as much of a detriment as one would think.  I have not been a victim of the narcissists and have discovered that narcissists will be more careful of a psychopath than they would for a human being who is structured in a regular and,  dare I say, NORMAL way.  The only foe the narcissist will fear is the psychopath.

For a long time, I puzzled over what it is about the psychopath that the narcissist fears and I believe I have the answer.

The narcissist is driven by a pathological need for others.  Indeed, they are as close as one can come to the human embodiment of the vampire.  Other people are used up and discarded when they have provided all that the narcissist can use.  Others do not exist as individuals with feelings, emotions, and rights to decent treatment, freedom of thought, etc.  It is as though you do not exist until you are seen by the narcissist.  Once he/she has left the room, you are frozen in space and time until they deign to glance at you again.

The narcissist needs people.  This is the end result of all of their machinations and maneuvers.  The desire for praise, attention, and adulation is ceaseless.  All of your efforts, your achievements, your actions — it will never be enough for the narcissist.  This is part of what makes the narcissist so exhausting for regular folks.  There will never be a moment in your dealings with them where they will tell you, “That’s just exactly what I needed done.  Thank you.”

Nope.  Never going to happen.

What you will hear is, “Oh, wow.  Well, thanks, but what I *really* wanted done was……”  and insert anything that seems over the top and quite impossible.

You are never to feel as though you have reached their satisfaction in any effort or attempt you have made.

And the narcissist has the marvelous ability to act like the perfect man/woman for fresh victims.  To the uninitiated, they can be bubbly, lively, charming, seductive, everything to everyone.  Whatever it is that someone is looking for, the narcissist can become.  The ability to morph into the perfect man or woman is central to their lethal pursuit of new meat.  It is only once you are totally dependent upon them and under their spell that the mask falls away and you are left with the nasty bit of goods residing behind the disguise.

But by then, it is too late.  You went in for a penny and you’re now in for a pound.  Your life will be so miserable and you will come to believe that it is all your fault.  The mind games began at “Hello” and you are no longer master of your own domain/mind.  The histrionics, the drama, the never-ending cycle of abuse will wear on your nerves.  Your misery clouds your judgement and you will wonder if you were ever really happy.  What happened to your own ego?  Your own value and self-worth?  The center of your soul seems to have shifted and you feel like you are just on the edge of a major collapse.  This is the end result of the narcissist’s ploy.  You are to be kept off-balance  all.the.time.

The narcissist thrives on your uncertainty.  The vast nothingness that resides in the narcissist’s soul is the poison with which they must live with and the goal is to make it your poison.  You must partake of the vile miasma that percolates in their being — it is necessary for their survival.  As it is not yours, it will eventually destroy you.

Part of the process of deconstructing you is that you will not be allowed to think well of yourself.  That simply wouldn’t do, lest you look around and realize that your life was a hell of a lot better without the narcissist.

So how does a psychopath compare with the tepid portrait of a narcissist?

The psychopath is sort of the child no one wants, at least in terms of the psychological/psychiatric realm.  The “bible” (DSM IV) doesn’t really address the psychopath.  It is seen as a bit of this and a bit of that, but it isn’t given a clear diagnostic tree as others are.

Psychopaths are also without empathy and have a tendency to view others as objects for their use.  Much like the narcissist, lying is like breathing:  they do it with ease and talent.  The logic for lying in some instances beggars logic, but lie they will.  The psychopath also has an enormous belief in his/her superiority to others.

And yet, they are not consumed with jealousy of others as the narcissist will be.

Perhaps it is the little things that indicate a difference.

Psychopaths are driven to get as much as they can for themselves and they thoroughly believe that it is something innate, something akin to being born to greatness and the rest of the world be damned.  Others are to be used and disposed of.   Rules are for others; not them.   And while the narcissist clings to this all-entitled notion, psychopaths are more focused on the end result.

Narcissists seem to be distracted by their over-weaning need to be admired, praised, showered with attention and affection, regardless of source.  In fact, they will break down should they find themselves without a source and supply of adoration.

Again, they need others in a way that psychopaths do not.

And so, should a narcissist come up against a psychopath, the narcissist will defer, at least temporarily, to the wishes of the psychopath and try to appease him/her.   If it were to come down to a battle, then the psychopath would walk away leaving the narcissist in tatters.  It is the narcissist’s need for others that runs to the core of the afflicted person’s psychological being.   If a psychopath and a narcissist were each stranded on separate desert islands, then the psychopath would still be alive and waiting for rescue in five years time whereas the narcissist would have perished years ago.

A fate worse than death?  Yes.  For a narcissist, he/she cannot fathom a life without others dancing in attendance and providing the “mirror” for the ego’s sustenance.

And though narcissism is supposedly more prevalent in men than in women, my life has been littered with female narcissists.  I have seen them in every role possible:  parent, sibling, aunt, friend, enemy.  The consistency of their traits is rather remarkable given the difference in backgrounds, educations, social status, financial standing, and so on.  Yet each and every one had the drive to seek out others to feed upon.  The sense of entitlement just as strong in each one.  And it was not surprising.

Irritating?  Hell, yes.  But surprising?  No.

And although the two are close in characteristics, the narcissist and the psychopath are not evenly matched for battle.  The psychopath is far more ruthless and far more independent of others to be wounded or cut to the quick as the narcissist would be.  The narcissist lives in constant fear of exposure:  some one may see beyond the mask and reveal their inadequacies for all and sundry to gawk upon.  This means that they must expend mental energy to keep others off-balance and unaware of the true nature of things.

The psychopath is not driven to connect and feed upon others as the narcissist is.

I will return to the discussion of narcissists and psychopaths throughout this blog.  I believe that these two personality “disorders” are far more common than we are led to believe.  Unfortunately, there is little in the way of practical methods people can use to avoid becoming victims of one or the other (or, God forbid, both) of these types.

I hope to elucidate a few techniques that have proven effective, at least from my perspective.  🙂

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine